


Beautiful Suicide

by Gnattine



Category: Original Work, Personal works, おそ松さん | Osomatsu-san (Anime)
Genre: Death, Depression, Heckie if not, Insomnia, Is that enough tags?, Mental Illness, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal ideas, Suicide, Technically I was Karamatsu in this dream, Thoughts of death, depressed, i have problems, suicidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-29 07:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12626544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gnattine/pseuds/Gnattine
Summary: Isn't Death such a beautiful end?Karamatsu has given up on life. Following his attempt, he was hooked up to life support long enough for doctors to consider pulling the plug. His brothers give their goodbyes.Followmy Tumblrfor fic updates and info!





	1. Beautiful Suicide

Oh, Death. How you would relieve me of so many things. My fears, my troubles, my enemies, my nightmares, you would protect me. Even as I would feel the maggots burrowing in me, filling my throat despite my unheard, unheeded protests. I would feel such joy. As the disgusting creatures fill my mortal body, as they ruin all of me, I would somehow feel so much happiness. Because even though this horror has occurred, even though surely, many others could be destroyed as I was, I can finally fucking die.


	2. Ugly Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Osomatsu-niisan wishes his immediate younger brother goodbye.

I know it's what you wanted. To finally be free of this bullshit life, I know it was hard on you. I don't know how we will live without you. But I'm sure we can make it! Don't worry, bro. But...it'll be hard on us. Ah I love you so much. And hey. I miss you. I know we almost killed you once before and you said this time wasn't our fault but... We abused you and were horrid to you. No excuse. So we, as a collective five, have decided to ease up on the teasing with each other. We want to make you proud, Karamatsu. Please wait for us. We'll see you on the other side. I love you so much.


	3. Lovely Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyushimatsu watches all day and every night for his music-loving brother to come sing with him. Nii-san, Nii-san! You know you're strong right?? Muscle, Muscle! Hustle, Hustle! You're so super strong, Karamatsu-niisan! So how come you only sing with them? Why won't you sing with me anymore?

Nii-san, Nii-san! You know you're strong right?? Muscle, Muscle! Hustle, Hustle! Your so super strong, Karamatsu-niisan! I'll bet if we all asked, all together at once, you'd stay alive just for us! Cuz you'd do anything to make us happy, right, nii-san? W-well to make us happy, you have to live, okay?! I'll be w-waiting for you to come h-home! I'll be on the roof, r-right next t-to your guitar. I tuned it, just like y-you taught me! I can't wait to s-sing with you again! I'll be h-here every night, **_*sniffle*_** waiting for you to c-come back home and sing with me!


	4. Painful Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Nii-san. It's me.

No I'll be fine please just go.   
_heavy sigh_  
Hello, nii-san. It's me. Well, I'm sure you can tell that it's me without me needing to say it. The thing is, all of our little brothers are really scared. Our big brother is really scared. All of them are terrified of what's going to happen if... if you don't make it. We do need you Karamatsu-niisan. I know that this is what you think is best for all of us, but it's really not. It's probably one of the worst things that could happen to us. One of the six worst things. We can't be the Matsuno sextuplets without you. Nii-san. Please come back to us, please, we need you. Fuck. I need you. Please, come on why won't you come back when we call? Please come back, please come back! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all on my phone but I had to edit a lot due to voice-to-text errors, especially with all the crying.


	5. Simple Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now it's Ichimatsu's turn.

"...Osomatsu-niisan. You need to eat. You need to sleep. You dying, won't make him come back. I'll knock you out if I have to."

..........

Alright. I've sort of been putting off talking to you Karam...Kuso...oh, for fuck's sake, fuck it. Karamatsu-niisan. Please. We've all asked you. We've all begged you. You're healing up perfectly well, you know. The doc-.. th-the doctor said its m-most likely just up to your brain now. You have to want to come back or else you...you won't come back.

Fucking hell, Nii-san. How did you get so low? While everyone was focused on me and my obvious descent into depression and misery, you pretended to be fine. I know why you didn't bring it up to anyone. We couldn't possibly afford two of us on meds and going to a psychiatrist. You gave up your own mental health and stability for me. Greedy fucking shit that I am, I took it; though I can only imagine how distraught you'd have been had I rejected...

I know that's where your whole...whatever it is, came from. Cheap glitter distracts from glistening tears. You could easily just say some of said glitter got in your eye. The bright fabric and ridiculous clothing combinations would of course divert the attention of anyone unfortunate enough to see it. They would notice you, yes. Confirm you existed; You wore your most, how did you put it? **EXTRAVAGANT**? yes; outfits on your bad days. When no matter how you'd annoy us, attempt conversation, we would pretend you had never even existed in the first place. You came to rely on our scorn, as well as the scorn of others, to confirm your reality. The physical trauma you suffered was self-imposed to protect your sanity.

It's a bit funny. I still remember when you hated, fucking _despised_ what you now fondly and passionately adore as your "perfect fashion". Now you find it a comfort, and somehow your preference for it is entirely genuine. 

You really do deserve the awards you got from the drama club, nii-san. The best actor, even years later.

Don't let that end now. The show isn't over. Even if it was, you can't skip curtain call. You're _needed,_ Karamatsu-niisan. The show must go on, yes? And your show is not fuckin' over. We can make this performance last a literal lifetime. And rather than playing the character you think you should, be who you want to be!

I....

I believe in you.

...

It's time to show the world what Matsuno Karamatsu is made of.

NOW WAKE THE FUCK UP, IT IS SHOWTIME.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck it, im bein emotional and sappy (ahem,drunk,ahem) and i just 
> 
> honestly had no direction for this fic
> 
> THO! That means I haven't really decided if my beautiful, blue baby boy will live, die, or otherwise. 
> 
> Comment suggestions, I have at least dozen different ideas. 
> 
> Also I know this chapter was way longer than the rest, I didn't really mean to (They were all sposed to be super short cuz. Ah. Cuz shut up, shut up is why.), 
> 
> When I started picturing this fic, it was like. "Oso get the fuck out. K. Now Kara wake the fuck up. TBC
> 
> Now we have this.


	6. Desperate Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Totty's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these are all short. I know they're probly not good. But I like to write these quick bits half-awake, and that's what matters to me. But I do hope someone out there enjoys it?

Well, nii-san. It’s been a week. Your condition is stagnant. I’m glad you’re not getting worse but WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GET BETTER??

I didn’t hear what Ichimatsu-niisan said to you but I do know he was crying when he left the room. 

…

Karamatsu-niisan? I… I feel really bad about. Well, you know. How I treated you the past couple years. You always seemed so strong, like no matter what we threw at you, it would just bounce off. I never imagined it would all pile up like this. 

It is our fault, though. We-- well at least I-- saw you as this indestructible pillar of self-confidence and. Okay it’s cheesy but. Love. You would do anything for the people who you love and who love you. We never really told you, did we? How much we love you? Well, it’s a lot. One hell of a lot. And the moment you wake up, nii-san, which I DEMAND that you do, I am going to hug you so hard, I fear for the safety of your spine.

How much ranting and rambling to I need to spew before you wa--

_increased beeping_

N--Nii-san? NII-SAN?

_flatline_

NII-SAN!!!!


End file.
